english

pupil work

 

S5

LIFE BEFORE KATE AND TOPSHOP

I am thin.  No actually, I’m skinny and I hate it.  I can’t understand it when people, for example ALL my friends, who have curvy, full figures go on those torturous things they call diets.  Once a month, every one of them goes on a starving session and it pains me greatly to watch them do that to themselves.

Supposedly, I am ‘pure dead lucky’ to be able to eat as much as I want and never put on any weight.  Ha!  Tonight I went in to town and dragged my screaming friends in to every single shop in Dundee that sells boots, even the shops that I couldn’t afford anything out of, and tried in vain every single boot they had to offer.  Brown boots, black boots, heels and all and yet no shop, I repeat NO shop had a collection (or even a single boot) that catered for the lady with the skinny malinky long legs.

I cannot count the amount of letters I have read in magazines, or conversations I have felt left out of, with girls complaining they can’t find anything in their size.  Moaning that no shops ever have size sixteen’s or over in stock and they’ve had enough of the shops only catering for those lucky perfect ten girls.  I scream in my nicest voice at them, asking if it is only me who, when shopping can find nothing under a size ten? Is it only me being the unlucky person that I am, that gets so frustrated when shopping because of that suffocating feeling I get when it comes to the third or fourth time I have checked a clothes rack for an elusive size eight and all I can see is 16 16 16 16 16?

I can remember being quite young and looking through my sisters Just Seventeen mag.  I always looked at the models in the clothes section and not one of them resembled the flat chested, lanky, stick-like figures we see using all their strength to get from one end of the catwalk to the other today.  If my figure were the same as it is now but it was seen fashionable to have ‘shape’ then I would be as happy as Kate Moss in Thorntons.  I always feel as if people look at me as if I am trying to look the way I do.  Believe me I don’t!

Those models make a living out of the way they look and no one knows for sure how they get that thin although in most cases they are accused of eating disorders as everybody wants to have some sort of disorder these days.  Maybe that is the case for them but it’s not the case here.  I am the one who eats the leftovers of everyone’s tuna sandwiches, macaroni pie’s and sausage rolls at lunch and eats all my tea at night but on my early morning weigh-in I never seem to put on any weight.

I suppose it is quite ironic that the rest of the world seems to be preying for no boobs, knobbly knees and skinny legs but I tell you I would swap at all for a day in the life of anyone else’s body.  Maybe I am strange or something, I am almost positive they would have a name for my disorder.  Teenager more than likely.

All I want to say is although ‘statistics’ may show that British women are getting fatter there are still some of us, you may have to squint to see us from the side, poor flab-less ones getting left behind. 

Jean Marra
    




  Why Latin Should be Compulsory for Everyone

 

Perhaps, due to recent events, I should try to persuade readers that Scottish males should give up their fixation with football.  The Scottish football team should be disbanded.  Scotland would be a happier place if it were not filled with saddened supporters, anticipating another major championship without Scotland.

It is most likely that little boys, as young as four or five, would have been glued to the box, able to rattle off players’ names, numbers, and statistics as easy as ABC.  Evidently not.  According to evidence from researchers at Dundee University, Scottish children, after their first year at school could only read 30% of common words, whereas their foreign classmates, at the same stage could read 90%.  This investigation, carried out in order to test the standard of reading and writing in Europe claimed that the standards were so low because English was harder.  Professor Philip Seymour stated that “Mastery of basic foundation elements of literary clearly occurs much more slowly in English than in many other European languages.  However, it seems likely that the main cause is linguistic and derives from difficulties created by the complex syllable structure and inconsistent spelling system of the English.” 

I am constantly amazed at the way in which foreigners pick up the English language.  Following a trip to Sweden, I am reluctant to believe that English can be very much harder.  Many of the children there could speak fluent English at the age of twelve or thirteen on top of their native Swedish.  They did not seem perplexed or challenged by the structure of the language, and indeed, knew the grammar better than many of the Scots I was with!  If foreigners can grasp the complicated grammar system of English, then surely Scottish children should be able to come to terms with it too.

Perhaps these statistics, showing the lack of literacy will shock the citizens of Scotland and urge them to take action.  But what can be done to change the intricate grammar or the unpredictable spelling?  Of course we cannot change the language.  We cannot merely abolish words which pose a problem to spell.  We must therefore, teach all children a far more difficult language, with an even harder grammar system which will help them with their own.  We must bring back Latin.

Latin has helped me immensely with English.  My vocabulary has increased vastly.  I am now able to determine which words are derived from Latin and am able to decipher some words which I have not encountered before by comparing them to their Latin equivalents.  The English language uses Latin logic in many different ways.  It was only yesterday in Latin that I learned another figure of speech (chiasmus) which I shall now hunt for (and perhaps attempt to use occasionally) in everything that I read!

Apparently, one uses the same part of the brain for logic, problem solving and computer programming as Latin.  I was aware last year that as my comprehension of the Latin language increased, so did my problem solving in maths, and my programming capabilities in computing.  However, my expertise in Latin hugely enhanced my comprehension of French.  Sentence structure and vocabulary are very similar and what is learned in one language is able to be transferred to another.

On a philosophical level I believe that it makes good sense to delve into the past to learn something of where we have come from and why we have ended up as we are.  In history, another of my favourite subjects, ancient history is not commonly taught and so I find it fascinating to learn about Greeks and Romans who played such an important part in shaping British history.  Having learned from the Greeks, the Romans passed on their knowledge to us when Julius Caesar and his men came to Britain in 55B.C.  Having lived in Britain for a considerable period of time, the Romans contributed greatly to our culture and to our language.  It is in deference to them that we chose Latin for our important inscriptions – Spe et Labore (Harris Academy), Invictus Maneo (the Armstrong Clan) and Prudentia et Candores (City of Dundee).  Had it not been for the Romans, the 57 bus which takes me home would not read “Perth via Blairgowrie”!

Many older people criticise my generation for our limited use of vocabulary.  However, they do not realise that having been educated differently, many of my peers do not share the benefit of having studied classics.

Last week as I was watching “Who wants to be a Millionaire?” I was thinking about how useful it is to know something of the origins of language.  The celebrities who were raising money for charity would have received a greater amount if they had known Latin.  One contestant used up all of her lifelines on the question which asked her the meaning of “Ave Maria”.  MENCAP would have obtained a larger sum of money if “Roy” (from Coronation Street) had known the Latin word “os, ossis” a bone.  This would have helped him with “ossification”, making the correct answer obvious. These are just a couple of the Latin-related questions that have appeared on the show and I’m sure that if you’ve studied Latin, your chances of winning a million pounds are greatly increased!  What better reason could one have for promoting the teaching of Latin within secondary schools!

Fiona Armstrong